Camp Piccolo
by Chibi Mirai Gogeta
Summary: What if Piccolo was forced to do community services for his past crimes? What if Gohan was forced to go to band camp? Finally! Chapter 8's here!
1. Why Band Camp is a Bad Idea

Camp Piccolo  
  
Chapter 1  
  
CMG: I'm back from the dead! Huzzah! Actually, college was a pain for about three terms, but I'm better now. Anyway, I don't own Dragon Ball Z or anything else added to this fic. I only own a few characters. This idea came from some freaky dream that I couldn't resist putting on paper. If anyone has/had an idea like this one, please don't sue. This was from watching the Garlic Jr. Saga out of boredom one day. *shutters as she sees Garlic Jr. beating Gohan up* Anyway, enjoy!  
  
Summary: What if Piccolo was forced to do community service for his past crimes? What if he had to work at a camp for children? What if Gohan was forced to go to camp because Chi-chi thought it was a band camp? What if the author was forced to drive a school bus full of children without a real driver's license to the camp itself? What if the other kids were forced to kidnap Gohan to get away from the psychopath Piccolo? Find out in this insane story I was inspired to write about! It's set in between those 'infamous' 3 years and Gohan's only 8 in this fic.  
  
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"I'm going where?!" cried Gohan as Chi-chi opened a box with a piccolo inside of a thin black box.  
  
"To a Piccolo Camp," said Chi-chi. "I thought my little scholar might want to play for our guests in case we ever have company. Plus, it will give you an excuse to study for a few months."  
  
Gohan thought about it. "Wait mom," said Gohan. "Are you sure that this camp has everything I need?"  
  
"Of course," said Chi-chi. "Now get packed son because you're going for the entire summer!"  
  
"Entire summer?!" said Gohan as he mused over the idea. 'The world must be coming to an end...'  
  
********************  
  
A month earlier...  
  
********************  
  
"...and since you have done poorly on your driving exams, you will have to do three months of community service at a local camp," said the judge.  
  
"Can't you just put me in some d*** prison for three months?" said Piccolo.  
  
"We normally would, but since you have not been around too many people..." said the judge.  
  
'Besides aliens, Saiya-jin, and a gay b****,' thought Piccolo as he thought of what happened in the past odd number of years he's been alive.  
  
"...you will have to spend three months as camp counselor," concluded the judge. (A/N: Uh-oh! ^_^;)  
  
"Fine," said Piccolo as he is taken out of the courtroom.  
  
**********************  
  
Present day...  
  
**********************  
  
"See you when you get back!" said Chi-chi as Gohan boards the rather large yellow school bus.  
  
Kids were screaming throwing things as Gohan looked around for a place to sit on the bus. Most of the seats were taken as he found a seat near the back that was empty. Sitting down, static is heard on the speaker as a female voice is heard.  
  
"Hello campers!" said a cheery voice as a familiar woman is seen. Her hair was blondish brown as some frackles decorate her chubby face and her glasses seem to be at the top of her head. She was wearing some black pants with a white tanktop shirt and a blue jacket wrapped around her waist. "We're about to leave." The cheeriness left her voice as it turned bitter. "If anyone needs to feel free to get off this bus, do so now or you will regret it later."  
  
"Um... lady?" said a young boy that looked like Dudley out of Harry Potter, except younger and not as ugly with brown hair.  
  
"What?" said the woman.  
  
"You're scaring me..." said the boy.  
  
"Oh, am I?" said the woman. Suddenly, she yells loudly as she charges at the boy as he cries. She stops after the boy covers his face and puts a smile back on her face. The boy looks up confused as she laughs a bit. "Joking! Anyway, I'm Chibi Mirai Gogeta and I will be your bus driver to and from Camp Piccolo." CMG walks back up to the front of the bus as she turns on the bus. The motor roars as CMG floors the gas petal. "Alright campers, you better have used the bathroom or else I'm not cleaning up your mess!"  
  
Shifting the bus to drive, the bus's wheels squeal as it shakes. The kids go flying, minus Gohan as CMG laughs evilly. The bus does a wheelie as the kids go flying again. After a few more stunts a man stands up and walks to the front of the bus.  
  
"Um... CMG?" said the man. "Shouldn't we be going the normal speed limit?"  
  
"Shut-up, Scrix," said CMG. (A/N: Scrix has no other place to go since Unexpected Fate ended, so CMG 'kidnapped' him and forced him to follow since she still wanted him to hang around.)  
  
"What about those police cars chasing us?" said Scrix as 100 or more police cruisers and the SWAT team trucks chasing a bus full of kids, a Saiya-jin God, and a deranged authoress that lost her mind long ago. Manically, the authoress laughs at their attempts to pull her over. Hitting a button, CMG makes oil come out of the back of the bus and lights a match and throws it out the window. The road is set on fire and every single car behind them squeals to a stop. However, helicopters continue to hover as the bus continues on its way.  
  
"You must be kidding," said CMG. "The speed limit's 45. I'm going 110, about 65 miles above the normal speed limit. Now stand behind the yellow line or something bad will happen to you and I'll be in more trouble."  
  
"If it's about you not having a valid driver's license, you are already screwed," said Scrix.  
  
Random cries of "What?!", "We're all going to die!", "Mommy!", "This is so f***ed up!", and other things were said after Scrix's comment on CMG not having a license and driving like a psychopath as the bus goes flipping off the edge of the road. As the bus crashes through the trees and other underbrush, it manages to not get damaged as kids were thrown around again after landing on it's wheels again. Scrix is thrown into the windshield as he manages not to break it at all and goes sliding down it with a squeaking sound. Of course, that only made CMG angry that he didn't go through the windshield like she 'wanted' him to earlier if he didn't do as she said.  
  
"D***it, Scrix!" yelled CMG as she goes Super B****in' 3. "I told you to say behind the d*** yellow line!"  
  
"D*** Super B****in' 3," cursed Scrix softly so that CMG wouldn't hear it and crawled over the yellow line painfully. "She has ungodly road rage."  
  
"Um... Ms. CMG?" said one of the campers. "Are we almost there?"  
  
"Not yet!" said CMG in a cheery voice as she reverts to normal. "We still have another 15 million miles to go until we reach our destination! Now please keep your arms inside the cockpit until we reach hell."  
  
Groans were heard from the other kids as the bus continues down the forest, plowing through trees in the process and making wild life flee for their lives. (A/N: I would say 'kill', but keep in mind that I'm trying to keep a PG-13 rating here!) After hours of driving, Super B****in' 3 road rage fits; and many kids crying; not being able to eat, use the restroom, and getting bashed in the process; the perfectly fine bus stops at a camp as the kids rush off the bus as CMG and a battered Scrix come off after them. Suddenly, the bus explodes into a firey ball of flames as it burns to ashes. Some of the sensative children cry as CMG sees what happened. Gohan just stared in awe, not hurt at all from the entire bus trip since he seemed to know about the authoress' real attempts to harm him wouldn't be from a bus ride alone.  
  
"Oopsies!" said CMG. "Guess I shouldn't of rammed it into a mountain!"  
  
"Okay, you are no longer needed," said Scrix as he bashes CMG in the head. Unnaturally, CMG remained conscious because Scrix was rather beaten up and he passes out on the ground.  
  
"Well, time to meet your counselors!" said CMG as the children, no longer cheerful, follow behind the former bus driver into the recreation center.  
  
The kids soon sat down with their piccolo's at their sides that remained undamaged during the entire trip mysteriously enough. Gohan managed to sit as far away from the deranged authoress as possible as he thought his mom made a mistake sending him to the camp. However, things changed the moment a familiar Namek walked into the door. He was wearing his usual clothes as Gohan suddenly became happy.  
  
"Yay!" cried Gohan as Piccolo shuttered.  
  
'Great,' thought Piccolo. 'Gohan's here.'  
  
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CMG: I hope you liked that chapter. Stay tuned! There's more to come! And for the first time in my fanfics, a preview done by Scrix himself! *smiles*  
  
Scrix: *forced to do a 'preview' at gunpoint* On the next episode of Camp Piccolo, Scrix renames the dining hall after being 'dubbed' the new chef. CMG decides to do arts and crafts. As for games, Piccolo makes play time torture as the kids are forced to play British Bulldog. *stops narrarating* Wait. How can a Namek know anything about British Bulldog? And to make it more interesting, why in the hell are you bringing it in the story?  
  
CMG: I was forced to play British Bulldog back in bible camp when I was 12. Of course, it was ruined the moment someone got a black eye. *remembers tie dying* I also remember one of the campers tie dyed their underwear! It was hilarious! It was the same camper that got the black eye too! Maybe I should add something like that in my story... *laughs evilly*  
  
Scrix: As usual, you are demented. *gun goes off and blasts at Scrix* Ouch! *falls over*  
  
CMG: Oops! *runs away* 


	2. Gohan Song and Mystic Pepsi? Day 1's Eve...

Camp Piccolo  
  
Chapter 2  
  
Scrix: *has ice on his arm* You are mean!  
  
CMG: I have my reasons for being mean. As I said in chapter 1, I don't own them or anything else that will be added later on. I only own some regular characters that will soon be introduced. Let the madness continue!  
  
Scrix: *prays* Please Infr, take me now...  
  
*** Special Dictionary Section ***  
  
piccolo-(noun) A small shrill flute whose range is an octave higher than that of an ordinary flute.  
  
Piccolo Daimao-(origins explained in Dragon Ball briefly in the King Demon Piccolo Saga as well as Dragon Ball Z during the Cell Saga by Kami) Father of Ma Junior, also known as the Piccolo we know today. King Piccolo was killed by Goku by a punch through his body. Before he died, he spat out one more egg and told his son to get revenge on Goku before he exploded in a firey death. (A/N: True.)  
  
Piccolo-(a.k.a. Ma Junior) Born after the death of Piccolo Daimao to seek revenge against Goku. However, once Goku did die during the infamous Saiya-jin Saga and he kidnapped Gohan, he changed for the better. He became the loving Namek we all love today.  
  
*** This little section is to clarify some things from the first chapter ***  
  
Now to see what happens next!  
  
_____________________________________________________________________________  
  
The kids were not happy. To make things worse, neither was Piccolo. However, Gohan was happily singing his song about Piccolo as some kids stare at Gohan strangely and wondering why he would sing at a time like this.  
  
"Ja-ja-ja-ja ja--n de mô taihen," sang Gohan as he goes through the song for the umpteenth time in an hour. "Kowaikao iguana danpukâ Hayaiashi momonga sûpâkâ Dôshiyô--? 'te sakenjae Nôto to enpitsu sotchinoke Dosei no wakka de Hey! jettokôsutâ Mama yori dekkai koe (dohya--)..."   
  
Some kids began wondering what his obsession was with a 'Pikkoro'. Others thought he was singing about playing a 'piccolo'. Then there were even some that were almost about to strangle Gohan.  
  
  
  
"Kon'na koto 'tte ari? Arerere kizukeba boku mo Suteppu suteppu janpu Shuppa- shuppi- shuppa- shu Pikkoro Oyatsu wo waku-waku matte 'ru kibun Shuppa- shuppi- shuppa- shu Pikkoro Ne-- ne-- tsuyoi zo tsuyoi n'datteba Pikkoro-san dai- dai- dai- dai- da--isuki..."  
  
The more excited Gohan grew, he begins to dance around, avoiding kids that were trying to ambush him sometime during his song. As he dances, he seems to be enjoying himself as Scrix was slowly coming around from the 'beating' he got in the last chapter.  
  
"Gyo-gyo-gyo-gyo-gyo--n de chô bikkuri Tsumetai zo kûrâ dorai aisu Attakai sutobuomu raisu Wakaranai--? 'te hashitchae Guzu-guzu shite 'tara shikarareru Chikyû no medama mo Yeah! rôrâsukeitingu..."  
  
At this point, Piccolo (who was already going insane enough) was about to beat Gohan like there was no tomorrow, but CMG held him back from doing so by holding on to the end of his cape.  
  
"Nan da ka Kami-sama ka na (dohya--) Kon'na hito 'tte nani? Ararara kondo wa kokoro Sukippu sukippu janpu Shuppa- shuppi- shuppa- shu Pikkoro Buttobi doriimu oshiete kureru Shuppa- shuppi- shuppa- shu Pikkoro Ne-- ne-- shiritai shiritai nan datteba Pikkoro-san dai- dai- dai- dai- da--isuki..."  
  
Suddenly, CMG was face-to-face with a Makenkosappo (A/N: a.k.a. Special Beam Cannon) aimed at her face by Piccolo. Waving nervously, she smiles before getting shot at point blank range by the attack.  
  
"Pikkoro-san dai- dai- Pikkoro-san dai- dai-," as Gohan finishes the song. "Pikkoro-san dai- dai- dai- dai- da--isuki!" (A/N: I'd like to thank http://www.eden.rutgers.edu/~vegex/ for the song. You can find the translation there as well as some other stuff. I gave my credit to them. Thanx! ^_^)  
  
"Whooo dot dot dot..." cried CMG as she flies to the edge of camp into a totem pole and breaks it into splinters.  
  
"About time she gets what she deserves," said Scrix as he runs off.  
  
"Are you done now so we can get down to business?" said Piccolo as Gohan nods his head. "Good. I am Ma Junior." A kid starts laughing. "You will respect... what's so funny, boy?"  
  
"You said your name was 'Ma Junior'," said the boy from the bus that CMG went after before the bus went on it's chaotic trip.  
  
"Boy! What is your name?" said Piccolo.  
  
"My name is Nathan," said the boy as Piccolo grabs him by the shirt. "Ah!"  
  
"Never ever mess with me or you'll regret it," said Piccolo angrily as he bears some nasty fangs that would give almost every camper nightmares for weeks. With the exception of Gohan since he knows that Piccolo didn't mean it. "Now for the next three months, I will be your counselor and will make your life at this camp a living nightmare." (A/N: Oro?! O.Ox (Kenshin reference))  
  
"Um... Ma Junior?" said a girl. "Will we be practicing music?"  
  
"No," said Piccolo. "And if any of you children play those blasted instruments, I swear those things are going to be stuffed down your toilets so deep that even the plumber won't be able to get them out."  
  
"How are you going to do that?" said Gohan.  
  
"I have my ways," said Piccolo.  
  
"That's my line," croaked the injured CMG from outside where Scrix was 'babysitting' yet again.  
  
"For now, I'll let you all go to your cabins," said Piccolo. "Tomorrow, there will some activities once I can figure out what they are." No one moved. "Well?"  
  
"Is there any food?" said another girl.  
  
"Am I supposed to supply that too?" said Piccolo as he looked over the contract he got a month ago and noticed... "Great. Who's going to cook for a bunch of brats?"  
  
CMG instantly woke up as she glared at Scrix. In a flash (and by the authoress' power over all things within this fanfic), his outfit changed and he had a cook's apron on that said "Kiss the Cook" on it. A giant chef's hat fell on his head as the children cheer. Scrix grumbled as CMG smiled a bit painfully.  
  
"Fine, follow me to the S*** Hall," said Scrix as he walked to the Christened dining hall now known as the 'S*** Hall'. All the kids follow Scrix there, except a disgusted Piccolo, a very hyper Gohan, and battered CMG as they stay in the recreation center.  
  
"Medic!" whined CMG as Piccolo and Gohan ignore her plea for help. "Fine. I won't get another bus and you'll be trapped here forever!"  
  
"Hmph," said Piccolo. "Not a problem for Gohan and me, but those kids can be left here forever." He thinks about what he just said. "Fine. What do you need me to do?"  
  
"Um... get me a Pepsi that is beyond all Pepsi's," said CMG.  
  
"What?!" said Gohan and Piccolo.  
  
"It's called a Mystic Pepsi," said CMG. "They are rare because of it's healing properties and the fact that it's laced with the fruit from the infamous Tree of Might."  
  
"Rip-off," said Turles' voice as he appears in the window.  
  
"Hey! Get him!" yelled CMG. "He's got it in his hands!"  
  
"Like the hell I'll give you what I've grown, b****!" said Turles.  
  
"You have just made me angry, you f***en b******!" yelled CMG as she stands painfully and goes Ultra Super B****in' 3 and starts kicking Turles' a** around.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Inside the S*** Hall, the kids are eating when they hear a woman's scream. Running to the windows, they saw a rather p***ed off female Super B****in' 3 kicking Turles' a** outside as he's thrown into the firey remains of the school bus. The kids cheer as the Mystic Pepsi flies out of Turles' hands and into CMG's. Reverting back to normal, CMG plops on the ground as she glares at all the kids that were happy to see a fight.  
  
"What in the hell are you looking at?" said CMG in a cold dark voice as the kids leave the windows and return to their seats to eat some more while they were allowed to live. Taking a drink out of the bottle, CMG's wounds were healed as she stands up. "What doesn't kill a Super B****in' only makes her stronger."  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Elsewhere in space training to become a Super Saiya-jin, Vegeta sneezed.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
The next day (after a few hours of placing kids in cabins), CMG wakes up in a cave and rises as she groans from her misfortune. Since there were barely any cabins around, she had to sleep outside in a cave with some other girls just to keep them safe from any wild animals. During the night, CMG had to chase off wolves, bears, rabid squirrels, Garlic Jr., Freeza, Cell, and who knows what else as she looked around in the cave. All the girls were still alive, but CMG had her hands full from last night and didn't really know what she was going to do at the camp just yet. Stepping outside in the sunlight, she sighed.  
  
'I need some ideas!' thought CMG. "Kami, give me a sign!" Out of the sky fell a pinecone as it falls on CMG's head. "Thank you, you old fart." Instantly, she goes Super B****in' 3 and gets angry. "GIVE ME A F***EN SIGN THAT MEANS SOMETHING, YOU OLD COOT! I SWEAR IF I HAD MY WAY, I WOULDN'T BE STUCK HERE!" A lightning bolt hits CMG. When she recovered, she saw some dyes in front of her as she smirked like Vegeta.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Welcome to Day 1 of Camp Piccolo!" said CMG. "Today, we are going to do something rather fun with Piccolo's clothes while he's still out from the 'sleeping medicine' I gave him."  
  
'Knowing her,' thought Scrix as he stood outside the recreation center, 'she spiked Piccolo's water.'  
  
"Now while he was unconscious, I 'borrowed' his clothes so he could have a makeover!" said CMG innocently. "What we're going to do is tie dye his clothing and then we'll put it on while he's still asleep."  
  
Gohan, a bit curious, decided to help. About an hour after the dyes were done, CMG put the clothing back on Piccolo's body. Laughing all the way back to the S*** Hall for lunch, Piccolo finally wakes up and wakes up in shock.  
  
"WHO IN THE F*** TIE-DYED MY CLOTHES?!" yelled Piccolo as the earth quaked.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
After Piccolo materialized his new clothes, he decided to punish the entire camp by making everyone, except CMG (he thought the campers did it) and Scrix (due to CMG glaring at him), by making the kids play British Bulldog. As Piccolo explained the lame rules, kids began running as those that were the 'bulldogs' tried catching and picking up the kids to cry, "1...2...3... British Bulldog!" Gohan easily managed to avoid being caught. However, the game ended when one of the girls tried to get Gohan, but he accidentally pushed against her too hard and broke her left leg.  
  
(A/N: That did not happen at the bible camp I was at, but something happened to one of the girls there and she had to go home on crutches. That, and a boy got poison ivy while I was there. One night, the girls in the cabin I was in decided to have a fight with the boys and I was trying to get things under control by not fighting. In a nutshell, there was hairspray and towels getting snapped before one of the camp counselors came and told us to knock it off.)  
  
"Wah!" cried the girl as CMG, no longer deciding to be mean decided to help the girl.  
  
"Hey," said CMG in a soft kind voice as she kneels down and looks at the girl's leg. "Don't cry. I'll fix it right up. Then you'll be able to play again." Closing her eyes, CMG concentrated.  
  
"CMG, it's no good," said Piccolo. "She's hurt. Huh?"  
  
Holding her hands over the fractured leg, energy laced CMG's body as a soft golden glow surrounds both her and the little girl. The sky grew dark as night as wind brushed against the soft blades of the grass as sparkles of light began to fall upon the leg. When CMG opened her eyes, they were glowing a silvery light as Piccolo, wondering what kind of psychopath would also be so considerate when others were hurt watched on.  
  
"Potere lei cammina ancora!" cried CMG in Italian as Scrix face vaults. (A/N: Since this had to get translated into a different language, I'll give you this one: May you walk again!)  
  
"What in the hell happened to the Saiya-jin language?!" yelled Scrix as the light dimmed.  
  
"Get up," said CMG as the girl stood up. Surprisingly, she was able to stand as CMG wiped her brow from the sweat. Second later, she passed out exhausted.  
  
"CMG!" cried Gohan as he runs toward her, forgetting how crazy she normally is.  
  
"She's fine," said Piccolo. "She's just tired."  
  
"What kind of Saiya-jin is she?" said Scrix.  
  
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CMG: Wouldn't you like to know? To clarify things from the first chapter, Chi-chi thought she was sending Gohan to band camp. Turns out that Piccolo named the camp after himself and caused all hell to break loose. However, this is only the tip of the iceberg.  
  
Scrix: You must be joking. How much worse can this fic get?  
  
CMG: You have no idea. Anyway, here's Goku to give us next episode's preview!  
  
Goku: Hi! Goku here! CMG recovers inside the recreation center as the children decide to get away from the counselors for awhile and have fun. Piccolo, unable to find the kids, realizes that if he doesn't find them, he would get into more serious trouble when the law decides to make an unexpected visit to camp. Meanwhile, Gohan's dragged with the kids to an abandoned recreation center where more bad things happen. Will Piccolo find the kids? Will CMG ever recover from healing the young girl? And will Scrix be forced to eat all the food he accidentally cooked? Find out next time on Camp Piccolo!  
  
Gohan: See you then! 


	3. Day 2's Events: Hiten Mitsurugi Style!

Camp Piccolo  
  
Chapter 3  
  
CMG: Okay getting straight to the point, I don't own Dragon Ball Z or anything else added to this fic later on as a side joke. I only own some original characters and the idea of this fanfic. So whoever wanted to sue me, well too bad. Anyway, some interesting things happen, so here we go!  
  
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Inside the recreation center, Piccolo makes a makeshift bed so that CMG would recover after passing out mysteriously after some strange ritual. Meanwhile, the kids learn each others names and Gohan learns the name of the girl who broke her leg was named Abby. As the campers were told to go back to their cabins, Gohan was worried about CMG. However, it wasn't that type of worry for a loved one. He was worried she would go completely insane after she wakes up.  
  
"Hey Gohan!" said Nathan. "Let's get out of here!"  
  
"What?" said Gohan.  
  
"Great idea!" said Tina, who was a girl with dark skin and black hair. She looked a bit Mexican.  
  
"We can't leave," said Gohan.  
  
"You're right," said Abby. "Besides, I'm glad that woman hasn't gone psycho on us yet."  
  
"Whatever Abby," said Chris, who was a boy with blonde hair in a braid down his back looking like someone off of Gundam, only smaller. (A/N: Does anyone miss watching the original episodes since they started showing that Super-Deformed Gundam show? I do!)  
  
"But Mr. Piccolo's a nice guy!" said Gohan.  
  
"Yeah right," said Jess, a girl with blonde hair that looked like a prep. "I swear he's a jerk."  
  
"Let's leave this hellhole!" said Travis, a colored boy that seemed to look like a gangster.  
  
"Yeah!" said the kids.  
  
"Wait, if 'Piccolo' knows Gohan, we must take him with us," said Chris.  
  
Tying Gohan up, he's unable to escape as he's dragged along in a wagon the kids found near the recreation hall in a shed and walk out of Camp Piccolo to have fun. Around the same time, two people from Piccolo's trial that took place a month ago decided to show up at a bad time. They arrived to see how he's handling the children since they told him that he would be evaluated during the three month period by only a few visits. Unfortunately, that was a bad time for them to show up since CMG was still unconscious, Piccolo was having a nervous breakdown, and Scrix was busy cooking; not knowing what was going on at the time.  
  
"It seems there's no children here," said one of the agents in a black coat.  
  
"Let's find Mr. Demon King to talk to him, Agent Q," said the other agent.  
  
"Right Agent P," said Agent Q. (A/N: I've got an evil idea now...)  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Ugh..." moaned CMG as Piccolo washes her face with a cold rag.  
  
'Hm, I think I have company,' thought Piccolo as he senses two men coming that seemed darker than normal. As the door opens, Agents P and Q walk in.  
  
"Mr. Demon King, I presume," said Agent Q.  
  
"Who are you two?" said Piccolo.  
  
"We are Agents P and Q," said Agent P.  
  
"Hello Agents '[P***] me off' and 'You are both [queer] men'!" said an unconscious CMG.  
  
"What is she talking about?" said Piccolo.  
  
"She's right," said Agent P as he pats Agent Q on the a**. "We are both gay."  
  
Scary music plays (A/N: Austin Power style.) as Piccolo gets p***ed. "What are you doing here anyway?!"  
  
"We have come to evaluate your performance," said Agent Q as he removes Agent P's hand off his a**. "Please don't do that right now."  
  
"However, the children are missing and you're tending to the bus driver who's wanted for alleged assult on police officers, endangering children's lives, speeding, going Super B****in' 3 too many times..." read Agent P off a list of things.  
  
"What's wrong with her going Super B****in' 3?" said Piccolo.  
  
"When she did it the first time, she ended up unbalancing the planet," said Agent P. "She has managed to shake the planet to its core, causing the planet to tilt about 5 degrees, destroyed the ecosystem, burned the rainforests to ashes, pets to go wild, a lot of mirrors and glass broke as people ran into the streets, caused Godzilla to somehow appear out of thin air to destroy Japan, and caused mass flooding to cities all over the world."  
  
"D***," said Piccolo. "All that from a Super B****in' 3's power none the less."  
  
"Do you realize how serious this offense is?" said Agent Q. "If she's not stopped, she could literally drive anyone who's reading this fanfic on Fanfiction.net to go completely insane!" (A/N: Like that would ever happen. *looks at reviews* Alrighty then!)  
  
"You won't touch her or else I'll make sure that everyone knows your plans to steal the secrets of creating a nuclear bomb to make love to it is told," said Piccolo.  
  
"D***, he's on to us," said Agent Q. "Alright, on one condition: You must find those kids and bring them back here within 48 hours. If not, then this psychopath will be taken into custody."  
  
"When hell freezes over you will," said CMG as she seemed rather p***ed off with blood red eyes and her hands on a weird sword's shaft that appeared out of nowhere. (A/N: Not that type of sword, perverts.) "If you value your lives, I will not used this reverse blade on you two."  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Oro?" said Kenshin as he notices his reverse blade sword is gone before having to confront Shishio at his hideout in the ghetto or something like that. "Who took my sword?"  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
'How in the world did she get that sword when she was clearly unconscious?' thought Piccolo as green leaves began to dance in the air and fly around CMG as she screams in anger. 'What now?'  
  
"Oh no! It's her fighting spirit!" said Agent Q. "We must have angered her!"  
  
"The hell you did," said CMG angry. "No one has the right to accuse me of those things you said, that you did not."  
  
"Stop stealing what I do," said Kenshin. "And give me back my reverse blade. I need to defeat Shishio, that I must."  
  
"He can wait," said CMG. "Now to borrow one of your moves with this thing without getting blood on this cool sword. Hiten Mitsurugi Style Ultimate Attack!" Missing the first blow because the guys were fast enough to avoid the blade, CMG swings around as the two men were sucked into the void of air in front of them.(A.K.A. The Ama-kakeru-ryu(no)-hirameki that Kenshin used during the Legends of Kyoto saga against Shishio. That attack rocks! ^_^x)  
  
"I thought we were getting away from her attack!" said Agent Q.  
  
"We're being sucked in somehow by some unknown force!" said Agent P.  
  
"The Ama-kakeru-ryu(no)-hirameki is an attack that has two steps," said Kenshin, remembering Hito's words to him as Hito's voice took over for the next rift. "Even if you weren't caught in the jaws of the dragon, the air prevents movement and the claws will rip you apart."  
  
Sure enough, the next blow was true and Agents P and Q were hit by the attack, but not killed as they went flying far away. After the second move, CMG falls to one knee as the sword digs into the ground point down as she pants heavily and lets go of the sword. Seeing that his sword was free, Kenshin took the sword and left to defeat Shishio. CMG passed out again. Piccolo, not over the fact that CMG borrowed the Ama-kakeru-ryu(no)-hirameki and Kenshin's sword, almost forgot about the kids.  
  
"Oh yeah. I need to find the brats," said Piccolo as he flies off.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Elsewhere in the S*** Hall, Scrix grew worried when the kids didn't show up to eat. However, he couldn't throw the food away since they were almost completely out in the middle of nowhere and wild animals were running rampant. So for the first time since he ever became immortal, Scrix was forced to eat as much food as possible even though he no longer needed food. No sooner did he finish the meal did he regret it though. His body went through began to change as he began to grow fatter than he would normally be. Soon, he was a big Saiya-jin beach ball as he went rolling all over the S*** Hall and out the door into the woods.  
  
"Can someone... oof!... help... gah!... me?!... Ieee!!!" cried Scrix running into object before his body went rolling off a cliff.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Elsewhere in the woods, Kenshin's master, Hito was sitting there drinking sake as Scrix falls on his pottery house and makes a hole in the ceiling.  
  
"Idiot apprentice," muttered Hito. "He must have used the Hiten Mitsurgi Style Ultimate Attack (AKA: Ama-kakeru-ryu(no)-hirameki again.) against this guy while I wasn't looking."  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Piccolo runs through the woods trying to find the children as he finds some weird things in the woods that were preventing him from reaching the kids. Once or twice, he fell into some booby traps. When he fell into some mud, some hands came out as Piccolo was pulled under. Unable to escape, he passes out from the struggle.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Hey! We found somewhere to stay for the night!" said Chris.  
  
"Good, now that we found our crib, let's find some food," said Travis.  
  
"Who died and made you king?" said Tina.  
  
"I am da bomb, so don't diss me!" said Travis.  
  
"Look, we managed to get away from Piccolo, so let's celebrate," said Abby.  
  
"Yeah!" said Nathan.  
  
"Mr. Piccolo will find us eventually!" said Gohan.  
  
"How?" said Jess. "It's not like he's got a tracking device on you or something."  
  
"No, but he can find us since we did manage to leave a good trail," said Gohan.  
  
"Oh, that?" said Travis. "I bet those crumbs are still in the woods right now..."  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Little did Travis know that there was still crumbs in the woods, but instead of Piccolo following it, a pair of kids were following it.  
  
"Hansel, are you sure these are our crumbs?" said the girl.  
  
"Gretel, no one else is stupid enough to leave crumbs in the woods like we are," said Hansel.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Hey Gohan!" said Travis. "Where did you get the furry belt from?"  
  
"Furry belt?" said Gohan as he looked around his waist as Jess pulls on it.  
  
"I want it if you don't want it," said Jess as Gohan freezes and the belt turns out to be...  
  
"A tail?!" cried the kids.  
  
"Oh no," said Gohan quietly. 'This is not good...'  
  
_____________________________________________________________________________  
  
CMG: Will Piccolo ever find the kids? Will Hansel and Gretel find their way home and not to Camp Piccolo? Will I ever regain consciousness ever again? Will Scrix survive being at Hito's house? Will Kenshin own Shishio's a**? Will the kids ever find a way home? Will Gohan's tail become Jess' new belt? Find out next time! 


	4. Day 2's Events Continued and a Pointless...

Camp Piccolo  
  
Chapter 4  
  
CMG: As usual, don't own Dragon Ball, Rurouni Kenshin, or anything else added into the story that belongs to their rightful owners. Now let the madness continue!  
  
_____________________________________________________________________________  
  
Piccolo regains consciousness as he finds himself in some underground cavern. It looked rather weird as he looked around. Suddenly, a shuffle was heard behind him as he turned around and came face-to-face with...  
  
"Goku?" said Piccolo as he looked at the child-like sized hero.  
  
"Hi Piccolo," said Goku. "Want to see something cool?"  
  
"Not now," said Piccolo as he was about to leave when Goku got in his way.  
  
"I wasn't going to let you go that easily," said Goku as his voice suddenly became unnormal. Suddenly, Goku goes Super Saiya-jin 4 as Piccolo flips.  
  
"No!" yelled Piccolo. "This must be a nightmare."  
  
"Or so you think," said Goku as he sounded rather cross all of the sudden and seemed like he reverted back to his evil Saiya-jin side. "Prepare yourself for your demise. Ka... me... ha... me..."  
  
"Goku! If I die, then you are truly an idiot!" yelled Piccolo as Goku looked like he was enjoying this.  
  
"HAAAA!!!" yelled Goku as the blast came closer to Piccolo as he looked like a deer caught in the headlights. (A/N: SSJ4 Goku: Muhahaha! Die Piccolo! Just die so that we won't have you during the Android Saga (and stuff)!)  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Elsewhere at Hito's house, Scrix regains consciousness as Hito looks at him.  
  
"Are you alright?" said Hito.  
  
"Does it look like I am?" said Scrix, still bloated like a balloon.  
  
"You seemed to eat something that didn't agree with you," said Hito. "Perhaps if you were to run around the mountains, you might revert to your normal shape. And maybe I can teach you the Hiten Mutsurugi Style."  
  
"I doubt it," said Scrix as he burps. "But I'll give it a shot."  
  
For the next few hours, Scrix was forced to run around the mountains fleeing from any various animals and Hito as he swung his sword around laughing like a psychopath. Sure enough, he lost all of the weight he put on and returned to his normal immortal form with a small gut. The only problem was that he had to use the outhouse for about five hours after his exercise before Hito could start teach him the Hiten Mitsurugi Style.   
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Piccolo was screaming lashing on the ground in the woods in the mud before he wakes up. Cursing at Kami, he continues along his way. (A/N: Muhahaha! *Scrix knocks CMG out for being insane* Scrix: Sorry about that folks.)  
  
'Son, I swear I'm going to kill you after we fight the Androids and after I get out of this d*** camp,' thought Piccolo as he stomped off into the woods.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Back at the Son residence, Goku had a strange burning in his heart.  
  
'Hm... someone's thinking about killing me again,' thought Goku before he smiles. 'Must be my overactive imagination. Besides, I think Trunks' warning is enough to prepare for the androids. Well, better get back to work!' Goku resumes patching up the roof like he was supposed to while getting whipped by an angry and deranged Chi-chi.  
  
"You better keep working or you'll get no dinner!" yelled Chi-chi as the whip smacks him square in the head and knocks him out. No sooner did that happen did Goku wake up suddenly and looked evil as Chi-chi backed off. "Um... Goku?"  
  
"You are mine, b****," said 'Goku' as Chi-chi ran away from her now deemed insane husband who could have been Kakarot. Of course, it turned out that hours later, Chi-chi learned that Goku was pulling a prank and she made him sleep outside hanging from a tree by his underwear.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Back inside the recreation hall, CMG stirs as she stretches. Getting up, she noticed that while she was out of it, a full moon appeared in the sky and was staring straight at her. Knowing normally that when Saiya-jin stare at the full moon, they transform into Oozaru. Yet, CMG seemed to be fighting that transformation.  
  
"D*** moon," cursed CMG in a deeper voice as her eyes turned red. "Kami must have regenerated the full moon. I should be able to control these urges, but..."  
  
The sentence hung as the recreation hall was destroyed a few minutes later by an Oozaru. Most of the camp laid in ruins after the transformation CMG went through, but somehow, Kenshin reappears with amber eyes.   
  
(A/N: If anyone ever watches Rurouni Kenshin, that's not a good sign because that means he's reverted to his manslayer side. I don't see why people find him sexy like that, but I saw a pic once that did make him look like a god. *drools as she notices the readers watching and wipes it off* Ahem. Sorry.)  
  
Cutting off the Oozaru's tail, Kenshin saw the giant ape revert back into the nude CMG as clothing suddenly appears out of nowhere and clothes her.  
  
"Oro?!" said Kenshin as he snaps out of his daze and he regains his violet eyes. "What in the f*** am I doing out here? And wasn't she naked?"  
  
*** End (Weird) Dream Sequence... ***  
  
"Instant Clothes Transmission..." muttered CMG as the whole thing ended up being some whacked out dream that was within the deranged authoress' mind, except the fact that the camp was destroyed due to her unhindered godly rage while she was still unconscious. (A/N: Or should I say 'goddessly'? I would say that, but it sounds lame and weird sounding.) Her tail snapped at the sky as the moon hung there as she opened her eyes. The last thoughts that crossed mind before all control slipped was, 'Why did I just open my d*** eyes and got a full f***ing view of the moon?'  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Piccolo finally senses Gohan as he walks through the woods and finds the place. Opening the door, he sees all of the kids as they moan and Gohan cheers.  
  
"Mr. Piccolo!" chirped Gohan.  
  
"All of you kids march back to camp right now or I'll make you do it with real bull dogs chasing you through these woods," said Piccolo. "As for Gohan, you shouldn't look up in the sky."  
  
"How come? Oh yeah," said Gohan as he remembered his tail as it wiggled a bit.  
  
"Why can't Gohan look at the sky?" said Abby. "The moon is pretty tonight."   
  
(A/N: WARNING: OOC PICCOLO. IF YOU ARE OFFENDED ABOUT THE STUFF I WRITTEN BEFORE, YOU MIGHT WANT TO LEAVE NOW. IF YOU WISH TO STAY, BE WARNED THAT FROM HERE ON END, IT WILL LEAVE YOU COMPLETELY INSANE. THANK YOU. DRIVE THRU.)  
  
"Do you want me to tell them?" said Piccolo as Gohan remained quiet. "Okay. Gather around while I tell you brats a story."  
  
"Is it a ghost story?" said Travis. "Because those are so d*** lame!"  
  
"No and if you curse in my presence again, I will make you sleep on some hedgehogs," said Piccolo.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Elsewhere, a familiar blue hedgehog sneezed.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Piccolo pulled out a flashlight as the lights in the room went out suddenly. As the flashlight flickered on, every camper was in suspense waiting for him to start the story.  
  
"About five years ago on a night like this one, there was a young man walking through the woods," said Piccolo in a spooky voice as some of the campers remained uninterested. "As this young man walked through the woods, he saw a young boy with a tail similar to Gohan's as the man noticed this boy was hungry and dropped two apples from above him."  
  
Gohan remembered that, but he was on a cliff. Also, he remembered those apples were not fresh, but said nothing.  
  
"Once the boy ate the apples, he saw the full moon as the young man remained hidden," continued Piccolo. "Then all of a sudden, his breath was caught in his throat as he transformed into a giant monkey known as the Oozaru. Smashing the trees and ground, the Oozaru blasted and lifted heavy boulders as the young man was horrified. However, he realized the only way he could make the boy turn back to normal was to destroy the moon. Once doing so, the boy reverted back to normal."  
  
"So that's why I wasn't able to transform!" said a familar girl as she walked in with a scepter that looked like the crescent moon. She was wearing a rather tight sailor suit with a short mini skirt, red knee high boots as well as a red bow on her back, and a tiara on her forehead. "I will make you pay on behalf of the Moon!"  
  
'Things have gone from bad to worse,' thought Piccolo.  
  
_____________________________________________________________________________  
  
CMG: They sure have! Now for Kenshin to read the preview for the next episode.  
  
Kenshin: Next time, my master Hito will plan to teach Mr. Scrix how to do some of the Hiten Mitsurugi Style moves while Piccolo fights against the attactive girl from the Moon Kingdom. *thinking* Must stay loyal to Miss Karou, that I must.  
  
Karou: *yelling* YOU CALLED THAT BLOND HAIR HARIM ATTRACTIVE KENSHIN?!  
  
Kenshin: *nervous* What I meant to say was she was very pretty! *Karou hits him with her bokken (wooden sword) and drags Kenshin off as he mutters* Oro!!! @o@x;  
  
CMG: Oy! Who's going to finish the previews? *Karou reappears*  
  
Karou: You will, you hussy!  
  
CMG: That's it, b****! Bring it on! Hiten Mitsurugi Style! *goes Super B****in' 3 and starts a catfight with Karou*  
  
Scrix: *appears in his normal state without being bloated as he decides to finish the previews* Since those two are fighting, I'll finish this off. Anyway will CMG ever stop passing out every five minutes from something stupid?  
  
CMG: *breaks the barrier and goes Super B****in' 4 for the first time ever (her body is shadowed, so no special features yet folks)* WILL YOU EVER STOP ANGERING ME EVER TIME YOU ARE IN MY PRESENCE?!  
  
Scrix: How in the hell did you get into the forbidden level? *CMG knocks him out*  
  
CMG: *still in shadows (for now since I'll give a description later)* Just come back next time. *looks at Karou* Now as for you... *camera breaks as the scene ends there* 


	5. Day 3's Events and More Chaos? Just Anot...

Camp Piccolo  
  
Chapter 5  
  
CMG: *normal form* As usual, I don't Dragon Ball Z, Rurouni Kenshin, or Sailor Moon. I only own Scrix and the campers I made up. The Super B****in' form is a rip-off of the infamous Super Saiya-jin and as promised, an overview of the Super B****in 4 will be seen in this episode. So if you don't like catfights, OOC characters like Piccolo, or deranged people running around, please refrain from reading this fic. Those who stay will either likely go insane or anything else in the near future. Thank you and please review when this story is done. I'll accept any flames to cook my Namek Stew if I have to! ^_^;  
  
_____________________________________________________________________________  
  
Piccolo stared at the strangely dressed woman as she seemed rather p***ed off. Suddenly, silence was broken as she started to speak...  
  
"I am Sailor Moon," she said as she started doing some poses that resembled the Ginyu Force, "and on behalf of the moon, I will punish you!"  
  
"Punish me?" said Piccolo.  
  
"Um... Mr. Piccolo, I think that..." said Gohan as he feels something coming towards them.  
  
"Not now Gohan," said Piccolo as the earth rumbled every moment or so.  
  
"But Piccolo!" whined Gohan.  
  
"Gohan, will you leave me alone," said Piccolo. "Now then..."  
  
A roar is heard as the kids scream. The roof of the building was torn off as a giant golden monkey stood there looking down with red eyes. Piccolo freaked out. (A/N: Yes. I know about the stupid Legendary Super Saiya-jin theory that the Earth would probably be destroyed. Of course, it did happen in Dragon Ball GT, so it'll happen here. So nyah!)  
  
"It's the giant Oozaru Piccolo told us about!" said Travis as he begins to cry. "Mommy!"  
  
"Wait a minute. Is that you, Chibi Mirai Gogeta?!" said Piccolo as the Oozaru's eyes flashed gold for a moment before they became blood thirsty again. Sailor Moon lost her nerve and ran away like the baby she was as Piccolo knew that if he did destroy the moon, he would have to deal with her again. His other thought was CMG's tail, but it was too risky. A giant hand was inching closer to the campers as Abby came out boldly.  
  
"CMG!" yelled Abby. "Why are you doing this?! You healed me earlier and I know deep inside, you don't have the heart to kill anyone innocent."  
  
"Yeah," said Chris. "You wouldn't harm any of us intentially, would you?"  
  
The Oozaru's eyes flickered again. Piccolo was wondering what was going on.   
  
CMG growls as she looks at the girls and boys as she lifted her gaze upward above their heads. Looking at the moon again, she cried loudly as everyone had to cover their ears. Volts of electricity covered the Oozaru's body as more chaos ensued.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Back at the corporate headquarters, Agents P and Q, who were injured from CMG's attack eariler, were monitoring her status as they made a new discovery.  
  
"Her newest transformation has formed a Category 6 hurricane not on the Saffir-Simpson Scale heading straight towards Antarctica," said Agent Q. (A/N: Sorry to those who had to suffer through Hurricane Isabelle recently!)  
  
"Those poor b******s who live there," said Agent P.  
  
"Um, nothing lives there," said Agent Q.  
  
"Are you sure?" said Agent P.  
  
"Of course," said Agent Q.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
In Antarctica...  
  
"Run for your lives!" cried a blue-faced human as the Category 6 hurricane was coming straight towards them. Everyone was running around like crazy as the hurricane seemed to tear apart every single building into millions of toothpicks.   
  
(A/N: Fact: It is impossible for a hurricane to reach that strength and head straight towards the South Pole. Also, only scientist 'live' there to do scientific research. So just remember that this is my fanfic and those laws don't apply here.)  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
As the roaring sound continued and shook the very woods, Scrix perks his head up and sees a giant Golden Oozaru roaring at the moon before Hito smacks him in the head with the hilt of his sword.  
  
"You need to stay focused," said Hito. "Until you finish picking up the rice with the chop sticks, you will not learn any of the Hiten Mitsurugi Style Techniques."  
  
"Right," said Scrix as he continues his task. 'I wonder what the point of this exercise is?'  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
In a flash of light that blinds everyone, the Oozaru shrinks as CMG's body returns to it's humanoid form, but she was standing a few inches taller. As the light ebbed, her tail and the fur that ran down her arms was now a soft dark red color similar to Kenshin's hair.  
  
(A/N: I saw a gag one time that showed Goku in his Super Saiya-jin 4 form and Golden Oozaru Bebi-Vegeta holding a sign during a battle that showed the   
  
Pink Panther + Goku = SSJ4 Goku as he's seen pouting about the whole thing. That's why I gave a description of the color.)  
  
Her light brown hair cascaded to the small of her back. She was wearing a forest green shirt that covered her body to her arms and black baggy pants that seemed comfortable. (A/N: Henceforth, the Super B****in' 4 form. Now stop bugging me about it.)  
  
"How in the hell do clothes appear on a nude body?" said Abby.  
  
"Magic," said CMG in a deeper, yet calmer voice as she looks down on the campers and Piccolo with her now forest green eyes. "What? Are you that desperate for marshmellows? We're all out!" The campers moaned over that bit of information.  
  
"It's not that," said Piccolo. "You've ascended."  
  
"Hm?" said CMG as she looks down at herself. "Well, I guess I'll have to go shopping for a razor then."  
  
"I don't think it's permanent," said Gohan.  
  
"Even so, I look terrible!" whined CMG as she itches at the fur on her arm as a point.  
  
"Not really," said Nathan. "Scarier is more like it."  
  
'I guess it'll come in handy,' thought CMG as her tail flicked evilly behind her with her thoughts.  
  
"What about dinner?" said Tina.  
  
"Yeah, and I need a shower," said Jess.  
  
"Let's go back to camp," said CMG. "That is, if there's anything left of it."  
  
"What about Gohan?" said Piccolo.  
  
"I'll take care of him," said CMG as she grabs Gohan and they both vanish in front of all of the campers.  
  
'I forgot she knew Instant Transmission,' thought Piccolo as he forced the other campers to walk the five mile hike back to camp.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
The next morning, all of the hungry and exhausted campers woke up under the clear blue sky as most of them were itching from the mosquito bites they received. All of them, except CMG and Piccolo that is. In a strange twist of fate, the mosquitoes left CMG alone because of the fur on her body and Piccolo was meditating, so his aura zapped every single bug like a bug zapper.  
  
"Hm?" said CMG. "I wonder why I haven't powered down?"  
  
"It's permanent," said Abby.  
  
"No, it should have worn off," said Piccolo.  
  
"Maybe since I'm used to holding the Super B****in' 3 form a lot longer than usual, the Super B****in' 4 transformation's the same way," said CMG as she willed her body to revert to normal and sighed in relief. "Oh man! That's much better."  
  
"Where's Scrix?" said Piccolo.  
  
"If he was in the S*** Hall, he's probably buried," said CMG. "So we'll have to rough it today kids."  
  
_____________________________________________________________________________  
  
CMG: *in the Super B****in' 4 form again* Will Scrix ever learn the Hiten Mitsurgi Style sword techniques? Will the campers ever find food and shelter? Will Jess ever get her shower? Will all hell break loose as this story continues needlessly? Before I continue on with my usual ranting, let me run this little teaser for you epic lovers out there:  
  
Coming soon for those who have seen Unexpected Fate, comes an epic battle between heaven and earth. With Goku kidnapped and the fate of the universe in the hands of the Z-Fighters, what will be the outcome? Find out in this thrilling epic, Fallen Hero. Coming soon to Fanfiction.net.  
  
CMG: Alright! Now stayed tuned if you're still wondering what's going to happen next on Camp Piccolo and review! Love ya! 


	6. Day 18: Scrix's Return to Camp and Gohan...

Camp Piccolo  
  
Chapter 6  
  
CMG: Don't own Dragon Ball, Rurouni Kenshin, Sailor Moon, or anything else that might enter this story one way or another. Let's cut to the chase and let everything and anything happen.  
  
_____________________________________________________________________________  
  
"That's not right!" yelled Hito as he cursed at Scrix at holding the wooden sword wrong and ended up getting it severed down the middle. "I told you to hold it lengthwise."  
  
"Well you try learning something new with a weapon you're not comfortable with!" pouted Scrix. "I can't use a sword!"  
  
"You will learn how to use it or I'll shove a Ryu-Shou-Sen up your a** for damaging my pottery house," said Hito.  
  
"Fine," said Scrix as Hito continued to teach him some moves.  
  
**************  
  
A couple weeks later...  
  
**************  
  
"MAIL CALL!" yelled Piccolo as he hauled a package of envelopes. "Chris. Jess. Tina. CMG."  
  
"Huh?" said CMG as she receives a letter written by Scrix and laughs. "OMG! Scrix is getting taught the ways of the Hiten Mitsurugi Style and he says that his last sword was cut into cheese."  
  
"Gohan!" yelled Piccolo as Gohan receives his letter. Opening it, Chi-chi's voice is heard (ALA Harry Potter Style!) as the kids look at Gohan like he's insane or something:  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Dear Gohan,  
  
I miss you sweetie! Are you learning how to play your piccolo? Are all of the other campers treating you nice? I'm proud of you for going to camp and I have arranged for you to play in New York when you return home from band camp. Your father sends his love.  
  
Hugs and kisses,  
  
Mom  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
"NOOOO!!!" cried Gohan as he goes Super Saiya-jin.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Now let me get this straight," said CMG as she talks to the still transformed Gohan as the other kids kept their distance from the now deemed insane Gohan. "Your mom thought that she sent you to band camp and is going to make you play in New York after you return from camp? That f***ed up!"  
  
"Yeah," said Gohan. "Without my piccolo, I can't play. What should I do?"  
  
"Gohan, I know a way that you can learn how to play a piccolo. However, Piccolo must not hear you play at all or else he'll literally do as he said," said CMG as she looks at Piccolo holding the piccolo box over a toilet that somehow appeared in the middle of the room. He looked like he was being controlled by Dr. Willow from the World's Strongest movie with an evil grin on his face as he shook his head 'yes' in a frightening manner that would give children nightmares for the rest of the year. "We'll meet in the abandoned camp hall every night and practice there. Now revert to normal or we'll be breaking more laws of this series."  
  
"Okay," said Gohan as he reverts to normal and forget how to transform into a Super Saiya-jin.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"That concludes my lesson," said Hito. "Now go home and die. And next time we meet, I will kill you if you're still alive."  
  
"Fine," said Scrix as he leaves the place rather afraid.  
  
"Oh and take this," said Hito as he throws a sword at him.  
  
"Huh?" said Scrix. "Why are you..."  
  
"It's a gift," said Hito. "It's a reverse blade dipped in holy water so the next time you ever need to make your point, you can do so with that sword."  
  
'And I know a certain tailed authoress to use it on,' thought Scrix with evil thoughts on his mind as he decided to take the Flying Nimbus back to camp. "Flying Nimbus!" The cloud appeared as Scrix tried to get on, but the cloud sensed his thoughts and struck him with lightning as he falls over with a thump and yipes, "Ouch!" (A/N: Impure Saiya-jin God's thoughts + Flying Nimbus = Bolt of Lightning intended to hurt the Saiya-jin God. Bet you didn't see that coming!)  
  
_____________________________________________________________________________  
  
CMG: Another chapter finished, another few cliffies. Now here's Hito with a preview of the next episode.  
  
Hito: On the next episode of Camp Piccolo, the campers are finally given their music lessons as Scrix returns from my training to get revenge on CMG. To make things more interesting, Piccolo issues a challenge that sounds rather familiar that happened to my idiotic apprentice being the target at one point. What kind of unusual challenge has Piccolo made Scrix take part of? Will Chi-chi learn what kind of camp she sent her own son at? And will my idiotic apprentice ever bring me sake instead of more problems? I mean Kami! What kind of Battosai is he when he denounces he's no longer a manslayer?  
  
CMG: Oro?  
  
Hito: You must be as dimwitted as he is. In any case, come back next time if you're still sane enough to handle this young mistress' chaotic mind. Oh and ladies, maybe I'll make another appearance if you give her some nice reviews... *CMG goes Super B****in' 4 and smacks Hito with Karou's bokken*  
  
CMG: Just review, Kami-d***-it! 


	7. Day 19: The Challenge Between the Gods

Camp Piccolo  
  
Chapter 7  
  
CMG: Disclaimers? Who needs them when I don't own them! Now on with the story!  
  
_____________________________________________________________________________  
  
Scrix returns to camp late that night as Piccolo smirks and looks at the Saiya-jin God's little sword in his hands. (A/N: *reads what she wrote and yells* Not that sword, you perverts!) As Scrix started to open the door, Piccolo hit Scrix with a tree branch as he falls to the ground clutching his injured head.  
  
"Why in the name of Infr did you hit me in the head?!" yelled Scrix as Piccolo motioned him to quiet down. "Huh?"  
  
"Follow me," said Piccolo with an evil grin on his face. Minutes later, they were at the river side near a waterfall as Piccolo seemed to explain an unusual and demented plan to get rid of CMG or the annoying Super B****in' 4 by...  
  
"You want me to use the Hiten Mitsurugi Style against her?" said Scrix.  
  
"If you can," said Piccolo. "Look, I know you don't like her, so why don't we make a deal. If you manage to hit her once before the sunsets tomorrow, then I'll cook the kids meals for a week. But if you don't, then you're going to have to explain who Infr is."  
  
"Like I'd tell you anything about Infr," said Scrix. "Deal." (A/N: Let the Saiya-jin God bashing begin!) "Hey! A/N thingy! What in the hell are you talking about?" (A/N: Oh nothing. Nothing at all.) "REALLY?!" (A/N: Yep. Don't mind me!) "Okay..." (A/N: Sucker.) "I heard that!" (A/N: @.@)  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Some insane music is heard as Scrix moves around in the bushes as stealthly as he could as he tried to ambush the unexpecting CMG off guard as she slept a bit later than usual. Little did he realize though that a few tree branches were lying around on the ground that were near his ankles. As he prepared to attack, he ran into the branches and tripped over as he fell into the thorn bushes nearby and got scratched up pretty bad.  
  
"*yawn!*" moaned CMG as she woke up and saw Scrix's tail in the bushes. "Scrix, I told you not to come into my 'Forest Room' while I'm asleep!"  
  
Suddenly, the thorn bushes that he was trapped in caught on fire as he screamed from the Super B****in' 4's wrath.  
  
*********************************************  
  
Later, after visiting the First Aid Center...  
  
*********************************************  
  
On a tree branch that had a rope tied to it, Scrix was holding the reverse blade sword again as he saw CMG walking down the path with Gohan as he carried his piccolo with him.  
  
"Are you sure you know how to play a piccolo?" said Gohan.  
  
"Of course!" said CMG, lying that she never had played an instrument besides the acoustic guitar (that she barely played at all). Scrix took his chance to ambush CMG again, but suddenly, CMG cried, "Oh! A penny!" Ducking down, the Saiya-jin God went soaring above her and the tree branch gave away, throwing him into another tree before he went sliding down it. "No. I take it back. It is a Golden Dollar!" Picking it up, Gohan stared at Scrix, who now left a rather crude mark of his body inside the moss covered tree as he limped away in a lot of pain.  
  
**********************************************************************  
  
If you do not want to see Scrix get bashed some more, turn back now...  
  
**********************************************************************  
  
Piccolo looked at Scrix as a woman not seen at the beginning of the series began to bandage his tail up from that last ambush gone wrong when he tried to get CMG while she was sunbathing on a rock near a lake. After he managed to trip and get his tail crushed by a bolder, he nearly gave his position away and had to limp back to the First Aid Center for the umpteenth time that day trying to catch the crazy authoress off guard.  
  
"Scrix, maybe you should forget about the bet before you end up telling Piccolo about Infr," said the woman. (A/N: Not Megumi, peeps.)  
  
"No Karis," said Scrix. (A/N: Karis and Infr are also from Unexpected Fate, so I'll save you an explaination for later.) "I have my honor to keep Infr's name a secret and if I lose, then I give my word to Piccolo to tell him everything."  
  
Little did the three know that Gohan heard the entire thing and decided to warn CMG before things got worse. Quietly, he crept off into the woods to find the young woman. Remembering how she would normally end her day in meditation, he ran off to her favorite spot in the 'Forest Room'.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Um... CMG?" said Gohan as he stepped into the 'Forest Room' that was full of trees and bushes as well as a bed made out of an oak tree. "I need to tell you something..."  
  
"What is it?" said CMG as Gohan hesitated. A part of him wanted to tell her, but the other seemed that she would be getting her 'just desserts'. "Well?"  
  
"Scrix and Piccolo have..." started Gohan before the cords to Dracula (or something along those lines) was played in the background as Scrix's yell was heard from above them. As CMG turned around, she saw the reverse blade aimed at her. Angry for Scrix using the sword poorly, she flipped right over Scrix as he went straight towards a patch of poison ivy with wasps nesting near it.  
  
"Ah!" Scrix screamed like a girl as the wasps began to attack.  
  
"Serves you right!" yelled CMG as she remembered. "D***. Gohan, use this cloak to save Scrix's tailed a** while I fend off these wasps before we get a rather swollen Saiya-jin God for a cook."  
  
Flinging the cloak around Scrix, Gohan dragged Scrix out of the poison ivy easily without touching any of it as CMG forced a huge gust of air at the wasps. After the wasps were gone, the two sigh in relief. However, Scrix began to feel an itching sensation as the poison ivy took its ill effect.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
That night around the campfire, all of the children were playing their piccolos' horribly as Piccolo writhed in pain. Gohan told CMG once they managed to save Scrix from the wasps. Unfortunately, Scrix was told he couldn't cook for a week, so Piccolo, win or lose, had to cook for the rest of the kids until Scrix recovered from the poison ivy. (A/N: I have no idea how long it takes to get over poison ivy since I only had it once when I was really young on my elbows and knees. And it wasn't camp either.)  
  
"Hopefully, things won't get any worse," said CMG far away from the noise inside the cave as she leaned against the cave wall.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
How wrong CMG was. Meanwhile back at the Son household, Chi-chi was cleaning the house as she looked at the letter Gohan wrote to her shortly after he received her letter:  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Dear Mom:  
  
Camp Piccolo's been fun! The camp counselor was really mean to the other kids and knew me since I sang about him. The other kids kidnapped me and took me to some abandoned camp where we stayed for awhile. Then, the camp counselor returned and told us to go back to camp.  
  
The best part is that there's a girl there that can go Super B****in' 4. She has a weird mood swing and was the bus driver before she ended up crashing the bus into a lot of things on our way to camp. So until they send another bus, we're stuck at Camp Piccolo with an former, insane, and unlicensed bus driver that can go Super B****in' 4 when invoked; a former Saiya-jin God; and my mentor Piccolo! Well, got to go. Arts and crafts is going to be great! And I'm learning how to play my piccolo!  
  
Love,  
  
Gohan  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Chi-chi re-read the letter. Three things on it weren't right and decided to do the math equation to see what would happen next:  
  
Super B****in' 4 + Saiya-jin God + Piccolo =  
  
Looking at the equation, Chi-chi realized what it meant:  
  
Super B****in' 4 + Saiya-jin God + Piccolo = GOHAN!  
  
Chi-chi let out a scream before she ran to the closet and got out her guns as Goku walked into the house.  
  
"Hey Chi-chi, is dinner done yet?" said Goku as Chi-chi came out ready to kill the entire Red Ribbon Army by herself. "Um... does this mean I have to sleep outside again?"  
  
"Goku. Gohan. Now," demanded Chi-chi.  
  
"Why?" said Goku. "What's wrong?"  
  
"My baby's at Camp Piccolo with three evil people and needs to be saved before he ends up getting hurt!" whined Chi-chi as Goku prepared to do Instant Transmission.  
  
_____________________________________________________________________________  
  
CMG: Now here's... *Chi-chi appears and shoots at CMG as she 'dies'*  
  
Chi-chi: Gohan! This is Chi-chi. I'm coming to get you! Goku! Hurry up! My boy can't become any worse after what he's been through during the last year and three months! I need to save what's left of his childhood.  
  
Goku: Next time on Camp Piccolo: Chaos in Camp! Chi-chi's Come to Save Gohan!  
  
Gohan: *hiding* Don't miss it!  
  
Chi-chi: GOHAN! *tries to find him before the credits end, but fails* 


	8. Day 21: Catfights, Guns, and Other Rando...

Camp Piccolo

Chapter 8

Scrix: (looks at CMG's 'dead' body and shutters) As usual, she doesn't own them. Oh boy. Now we're in some deep s---. (the almighty Frying Pan of Doom hits Scrix in the head)

Chi-chi: You corrupted Saiya-jin God! (tries to whack him in the head again as Goku stops her)

Goku: I think he's out cold. Now let's go after Gohan. (runs off)

Gohan: (still hiding and thinking) Why me?

* * *

Children were cheering as everyone was outside about to play a nice little game of kick ball. Gohan was about to kick when Goku and Chi-chi materialized out of thin air as he fell back in shock. Before Gohan knew it, Chi-chi was crying against her son as his cheek was rubbed against some bullets. 

"Oh you're all right!" said Chi-chi. "Mommy's come to take you home."

"Camp's not over yet, b----," said CMG angrily from behind Chi-chi.

"It is now," said Chi-chi. She turned around and aimed a gun at CMG's head as she refused to move an inch. "You have no idea how worried I was when I read that letter."

"Oh, you mean Gohan's written to tell you how horrible of a parent you are for making him study 24/7/365?!" yelled CMG as her tail started to lash behind her.

"Wha-?!" said Goku as he realized what that meant. "Are you a Saiya-jin too?"

"Nah," said Scrix as he comes out of the shadow of the trees, still slightly covered in the poison ivy and wasp stings he suffered. "More like the female version of the Saiya-jin known as the B----in'."

"Wah!" said Goku.

"Scrix," warned CMG getting rather cross from the Saiya-jin God's name calling as her eyes flashed teal. "How many times did I tell you not to call me a B----in' just because I can go Super Saiya-jin?"

"Super Saiya-jin?!" cried a now shocked Goku. "You can go Super Saiya-jin."

"Yes, but Scrix prefers to call me a Super B----in' because I look different when I transform," said CMG. "For starters, when I go the first level..." CMG transforms, "my hair remains almost all down. When I ascend to the next level," CMG powers up a bit more, "half of my hair goes up while the other half remains down. Or what you call more like a Super Saiya-jin 2."

"I never called that form Super Saiya-jin 2," said Goku.

"That's because you haven't reached it yet," said CMG smiling before she became 100 serious about the move she was about to do next. "And this..."

"No! Don't do it!" yelled Agent P & Q.

'Shut-up or I'll do the Ama-kakeru-ryu(no)-hirameki to you both again,' yelled CMG mentally at the two agents that were still after her (from Chapter 3). With that, she finishes what she was going to say verbally before she was interrupted, "...is to make all of you have nightmares for years!"

As CMG charges up, Chi-chi is thrown off balance as she lands on the small of her a-- as Goku barely held his ground. The campers were being blown away, save Gohan, as he held his ground near Piccolo. The winds generated began to break small trees like toothpicks. As the madness continued around the world, the laws of physics were broken as apples began falling upward instead of downward. The earth's rotation was severely altered as the sun started sinking in the east and rising in the west. Somehow, what caused mass extinction to the other dinosaurs was reversed as they were revived and started the cycle of life yet again. As CMG yells for the last time, a blinding light made everyone shut his or her eyes as though a second sun was on Earth.

"Ahhh!" cried the other campers. Piccolo was holding all of them on the bleachers he had to resort to using when they were about to fly to their deaths and Gohan was literally holding on to Piccolo's cape like a life line until the wind stopped. When the light ebbed, everyone was able to see again as they all freaked out. There, standing in front of them was a female version of the Super Saiya-jin 3, except CMG still had the eyebrows and seemed animalistic as a razor thin smile appeared on her face.

"Sorry I made all hell break loose with that transformation," said CMG in a rougher sounding voice than before. "Usually, I don't transform seriously because it causes a lot of problems whenever I do. This is what Goku will later call a Super Saiya-jin 3."

"Man! Can you teach me now?" said Goku.

"Um... no," said CMG.

"Aw! But I wanna!" said Goku.

"Listen, now is not the time to be some ultra powerful being that could easily kill the androids without breaking a sweat," said CMG. "This form takes a lot of practice to control and I know if you became one now, not even Cell would stand a chance against you and he would probably take Gohan hostage and make you surrender."

"Who's Cell?" said Goku as CMG face vaults. Scrix got angry with the 'spoiler' from the Android Saga.

"**YOU ARE INSANE! YOU JUST GAVE HIM A SPOILER FROM THE ANDROID SAGA**!" yelled Scrix as CMG gets up and becomes just as angry.

"**WELL, YOU WERE THE ONE WHO HAD TO MAKE ME REVEAL THAT I WAS A SUPER SAIYA-JIN, SCRIX!**" yelled CMG back as her tail lashed furiously behind her with the hairs sticking up. "**I SWEAR IF I HAD THINGS MY WAY, YOU WOULDN'T BE THE GOD OF THE SAIYA-JINS AND WE WOULDN'T HAVE ENDED UP STUCK AT THIS CAMP!**"

"**WELL YOU WRECKED THE BUS AGAINST THE GROUND ABOUT A MILLION TIMES BEFORE WE GOT HERE AND NEVER GOT A DECENT LICENSE BEFORE EVER DRIVING THAT D--- THING AROUND THE COUNTRY SIDE!!!**" roared Scrix as he suddenly went Super Saiya-jin 3 and was about to duke things out with her.

"Wait, wait, wait," said Goku as he goes Super Saiya-jin and gets between both CMG and Scrix. "If you two are Saiya-jins and can go "Super", then does Vegeta know?"

"Of course not!" said CMG. "But why do you bring it up?"

Before the question was answered, a spaceship suddenly falls in the middle of the kick ball field creating a crater in the ground as Vegeta get out and sees the two Super Saiya-jin 3 and Super Saiya-jin standing there.

"D--- you Kakarot," cursed Vegeta as he started to look like he was a teenager denied to go out on a date. "Why haven't you told me there were more Saiya-jins stronger than me?" Vegeta starts to cry in front of them before running back on his spaceship and launches it back to space where he was training to defeat the androids. (A/N: Couldn't resist.)

"Oh yeah," said Goku. "He's not a Super Saiya-jin yet."

'Or is he?' thought CMG as she smirks.

"That doesn't mean I'm going to forgive you!" yelled Chi-chi as her gun was aimed at CMG again. "Now die!"

The bullet cut through the air as it slammed into CMG hard. She falls to the ground (A/N: Like Mirai Trunks) as everyone looked on in horror. Gohan looked like he was going to cry as the children got angry at Chi-chi and grabbed some rope and tied her up.

"Hey! I'm doing you kids a favor!" yelled Chi-chi.

"Yeah, but she was a good counselor!" said Travis. "She lets us do all kinds of things and you went and killed her!"

"Like she would die from a single bullet," said Scrix as Piccolo looked at him confused. "She's alive. She's playing dead."

"Scrix, you are an idiot," said CMG as she gets up and brushed off the dirt that got on her clothes. "Now Chi-chi's going to get even more p---ed off at me and try to kill me again."

Sure enough, Chi-chi saw what seemed to be someone coming back from the dead without the aid of the almighty Dragon God of Wishing, Shenlong himself. (A/N: I made up that last part 'cause I was bored.) Breaking the ropes, she grabbed and shook her skirt with a rattling sound. A big kick-a-- gun came out of her skirt with a clunk before a motor sound was heard as she lifted it up with both hands. Shooting CMG with the comically large machine gun, she falls over again pretending to be dead. (A/N: If you've ever played Wild ARMs 3, then you know Maya uses that weapon when she gets rather p---ed off. She killed Gallows a few times doing that s---! Oops. I'm rambling a little bit.)

"How do you like that, b----?" said Chi-chi.

"That tickled," said CMG as she gets up again.

"D--- you!" cried Chi-chi as she grabs a bazooka and shoots it at CMG. This time around, CMG was getting tired of this and took the blast head on. A sonic boom shook the ground as the light blinded the kids. As the smoke cleared, only a crater remained. "Well, I suppose she's dead now. No one can survive that. Huh?"

The smoke slowly cleared as Chi-chi saw Goku standing there now a Super Saiya-jin 4 as he looked rather p---ed off at Chi-chi for some strange reason or another. In his arms was the worn-out CMG as she was completely back to normal

"G-Goku?" said Chi-chi.

"Why are you doing this, Chi-chi?" said Goku in a rather deep voice. "She did nothing to harm my son."

"She could!" yelled Chi-chi as the kids ran to Goku holding CMG. Gohan gave her mother a glare that meant he was upset as he looked at the badly injured psychopath.

"CMG! Wake up!" said the kids sadly.

"You shouldn't have done that," said Scrix. "For hurting the crafts counselor, you are now going to be the head cook for the S--- Hall while I relieve her of her duties for awhile."

"What?!" cried Chi-chi. "You are in no position to do anything!"

"I'm afraid that the Saiya-jin God is correct," said Agent Q. "You endangered the lives of others in the process, so unless you spend the remaining time here at this camp, you'll be thrown into a mental institute until your son is 20 years of age."

"Fine, I'll stay," moaned Chi-chi.

"Can I stay too?" said Goku, looking wistful.

"Of course," said Piccolo. "Besides, someone's got to do the crafts since Scrix and Karis will be busy nursing our friend here back to health."

"Yay! I always wanted to go to a camp!" said Goku as he starts acting rather childish and starts looking around. "What's for dinner?"

Everyone face vaults from the rather childish Super Saiya-jin 4 before Goku's body returns to normal.

"What?" said Piccolo.

"Oh yeah," said Goku. "Since it was only temporary, I can't use that form anymore until GT anyway."

"Idiot," muttered CMG before Goku picks up the still unconscious fighter.

### _**One week later...**_ ###

"Scrix!" yelled CMG as the kids stopped working on their birdhouses made of regular sticks. "I told you to bring me Pepsi, not Coca-Cola! How am I supposed to make a Pepsi Fusion if you bring me the wrong s---?"

An explosion is heard in the background. "What's that?" said Scrix.

"Since you made me create a Coca-Cola Fusion, there's no way I'm going to eat it!" yelled CMG.

"What's a Coca-Cola Fusion?" said Goku as he teleports to the First Aid Center and notices that CMG had a bowl of ice cream with a Coca-Cola near her while she seemed rather tense. "Huh?"

"She doesn't like her vanilla ice cream mixed with Coca-Cola," said Scrix as he explained what happened. "She'll remain like this until I get her the Pepsi she wants, but we're out!"

"I know, I'll go get one!" said Goku as he teleports to the burning buses' remains. "Hey Turles, do you mind if I have a Mystic Pepsi?"

"No way in hell, Kakarot!" yelled Turles as he comes out the burning buses' remains as a Super Saiya-jin.

"Since when did you go Super Saiya-jin?" said Goku.

"When that Super B----in' kicked my a--!" yelled Turles as thunder rolled overhead.

* * *

CMG: (still in bed) Will Goku win against Turles now that he found the way to become a Super Saiya-jin? And how dare he call me a Super B----in'?! (goes Super B----in' 4 and is about to get out of bed when Karis stops her) 

Karis: Oh CMG! It's time for your medicine! (holds a spoon full of some puke green medicine)

CMG: For the love of Kami! Please don't!

(A super deformed Chibi-Furiza appears holding a sign with angel wings that reads: This next scene is proudly censored by FUNi; the scene changes to a rather freaky Piccolo)

Piccolo: (with cape billowing in the wind with a dark background and blood red eyes) Find out next time, if you dare. (laughs evilly before the camera cuts his laugh off) Hey! (static)


End file.
